Creating a Valentine: Writing Realistic Love Stories

Hi everybody! Happy Valentine's Day! I know a lot of people absolutely hate this holiday, but I definitely don't. Anyone who knows anything about me will tell you that an entire holiday devoted to hearts and candy and romance is right up my alley. So to celebrate, I'm going to talk to you guys about love... in your writing!

So often I see writers struggle with romance. Love stories are hard! Especially when you're trying to create a romance that builds in a genuine way. I can't even count the number of times I've been talking to a writer about their romance and they tell me, "I know what I want them to be like. I know that I want them to be special, but it just comes out like everything else out there."

And therein lies their problem. People, in general, tend to gravitate toward the mundane when it comes to romance. It's so easy to fall into cliches when writing a love story. The love interest shows up for the first date with a single red rose. They go to a candlelit dinner, and then stroll through the town, talking about their hopes and dreams. Then comes the built up first kiss at the door, and it's over. And none of these things are bad.

But they're not original either. What I'm talking about is creating moments between your characters that are uniquely them, and not just for their dates, or the things they do once they're together. From the very beginning.

Why do these two people love each other? Where does it start? WHY does it build? If you want a genuine romance, you have to give them something to connect to.

Let me give you an example. Let's say we have two characters. I'll name them... William and Lola. Now when this scenario here starts, William and Lola don't know each other at all. They're complete strangers, at the starting line, no previous contact. It's a blank slate.

So how do we get them from 0-60? From first meeting to true love? They could meet through a mutual friend. They could run into each other in the street. They could both reach for the last mimosa at a New Years party. They could meet up on an online dating service. Your options are almost limitless, which is part of the problem.

99% of those options probably won't mean anything to your characters.

Without that substance, without a reason to root for these two people, and tangible reasons for their feelings, there's nothing there but two people who fall in love for the sake of your story. And that'll never be enough.

In order to avoid this, you have attempt to create two characters with their own goals, their own paths within your story, and then make those paths cross in a way that makes sense. In a way that's theirs alone.

So, back to our example, what if William's last girlfriend died a while before the book begins, and he has to drive all of her stuff back home to her family? What if Lola is hitchhiking her way across the country during her year off from school to put some distance between her an an abusive ex? What if William see's Lola being hit on by a sleazy truck driver at a diner and then ends up offering her a ride? They're both struggling with things, but they're thrown together within the story by those things they're battling. It's not just a chance meeting of two people who are perfect for each other over a mimosa. It's the beginning of a story that's uniquely theirs. This battle to get over grief and heartache while on a journey across the country.

Complete with all the awkwardness a
journey like that would generate.

It's also about creating moments that are unique to them. Keeping with the same example, William and Lola could start off barely talking, and then William finds out they love the same band, and a few longing looks later, they're going at it in the backseat. But where's the substance there?

Insta-love is my most hated thing in books. I want to know WHY they feel that spark. I want to see it build into a flame, and then combust the both of them. I want reasons for their feelings. Insta-love cuts all of that down at the knees and it's incredibly frustrating.

Don't do this. You'll regret it when your characters are just two people who love each other because you said so. Make it difficult. Make them work for it. Love is often surprising to us, and half the time we don't even realize how hard we're falling until it's painfully obvious. One of my favorite Pride & Prejudice quotes is “I cannot fix on the hour, or the spot, or the look or the words, which laid the foundation. It is too long ago. I was in the middle before I knew that I had begun.”

Give them a middle to find themselves stuck in.

The more unique your characters are, the more reasons you have for them to have this connection (and scenes where these reasons are shown and felt,) the more substance your story will have. Don't have William buy a rose at a gas station and hand it to Lola in the car. Show Lola always buying gummy bears and then (after an epic fight with her mom on the phone) William hands her a package to make her feel better. I mean, that's a pretty lame example, but it still makes my point. Show through Lola that William is paying attention. That he knows this little thing about her and makes it a point to use that to make her feel better.

In my WIP, I have a main character who starts collecting those teeny tiny seashells (the ones that are about the size of a pea) in a mason jar. When she's bored, she grabs her jar off the microwave, goes down to the beach, and sifts through the rocks for them. At some point, her love interest is in her house and asks about the shells, and she tells him about her little mission to fill it up before the end of the summer. From that point on, pretty much every time he sees her, he pulls a small handful of shells out of his pocket and hands them to her for the jar. This little inconsequential detail then becomes a thing between them, that carries through to the rest of the book. And it's not a cliche rose, or something generic. It's unique to my characters, and it means something more to both of them as the story builds too, and then later, when things sour, it's that mason jar that gets shattered in his driveway, like a symbol of them being "done." This thing they were building together is literally in pieces on the ground.

My point is, you need to find YOUR moments. The things that tie these people together, and not just because you said so. Their romance should be 100% theirs, even in a world where everything's been done before. It's the behind the scenes stuff, and that inner emotion, that'll make them stand out. Not grand gestures and romantic "type" things that happen. 

Roses don't make a love story. 

Your characters do, because...

So go forth, and dig into your own moments. List the reasons (and the moments) that build up these feelings for your characters. Why these strangers keep thinking about each other. Why these friends are suddenly feeling more than before. Why this online date is different than the others. 

Whatever your premise is.

Don't let William and Lola become generic. Don't leave them to the single red rose and the candlelit restaurant. Cover the car with candles in an apology. Leave a wildflower from one of their stops wrapped around the gearshift after they've split up, as a reminder of what's been lost. Throw the death of the girlfriend in there at the worst possible time.

And I'll say it again: MAKE THEM WORK FOR IT.

Sometimes, love can be simple. But nobody wants to read about the simple ones. They want to see love conquer things. To level mountains. They want the challenge. So give them the challenge. Throw everything but the kitchen sink at your characters. Let them struggle through these moments you've created, and by the end of it, you'll have created a love worth rooting for.

And if that's not the goal of a romance, I'm not sure what is.

Toodles!

(Also, if writing romance is something that you really struggle with in general, and this advice isn't enough, I also offer romance critiques through Wild Things Editing, where I break down your love story and work with you to direct your romance in the direction you want. So if this is something that you feel might be helpful to you, feel free to contact me through the link above. I love working on love stories, so I'd be thrilled to help get yours in the right place.)

RANT: Beware Of Pushy "Agents"

So... there was some talk on Twitter yesterday, about a certain "agent" condemning authors who had the audacity to ask her to wait for a response on her offer of representation until the author heard back from the other people who had their manuscript. I tweeted about it for a bit, but I want to expand on that a little more here, where my tendency to be longwinded didn't make that a problem.

Okay, let’s spin a little scenario for you here, so I can better illustrate how insane this is (and downright predatory when you take into consideration the number of writers who wouldn't question this stupid request because they'd have no idea that this isn't the industry standard!)

Say you’re a relatively “new” writer. You’ve worked hard, you’ve toiled, and done everything you could to make your book as perfect as it can possibly be. You love this book. It’s the thing born from all your struggles, and abandoned ideas, and late nights typing away while everyone else had fallen asleep.

You decide, this is the one. This is the book you’re going to send out into the world. You compile a list of agents, you sweat over a query letter, and after psyching yourself up for more time than you really think you should need, you hit send.

What happens next is a spiral of emotions. Excitement. Fear. Anxiety. Worry. Every single time your phone makes that incoming email sound you leap on it like it might scamper away from you. And every rejection breaks your heart a little bit more.

Then, that magical day comes. You open your email and there’s something from an agent you queried, or one who requested pages from you during a contest. Finally, you read something other than “This just isn’t for me.” They’re interested! They want to talk! It's "THE CALL!!"

And then they tell you they want an answer right away. 

“Don’t bother notifying the other agents who have your book."

RED FLAG.

"Just sign with me right now, it's unprofessional to ask me to wait for you." 

RED FLAG.

"Don't waste my time.”

RED FLAG. 

You stare at the email and think this is great…. right? They want to work with you. But a little voice inside of you is screaming that something’s not right with this. And if it’s not, it definitely should be!

Agents are great people. They’re understanding, competent, awesome professionals who take things like this beloved book of yours and fall in love with it just as completely as you have. They want the best for you AND your book.

They also understand that what’s best for you, might not be them. That’s why any reputable agent out there won’t bat an eye when you ask for a couple weeks to make your decision. Time to let everyone else with your manuscript know you’ve had an offer of representation. Hell, most of them will even come right out and tell you to do this.

Anyone who says otherwise, or asks for special liberties with your book, or demands to have a response right that second, doesn’t have YOUR best interests in mind. They're concerned about them, and what they want. They don't give a crap about you.

Do yourself a favor. Don’t sign with someone just because they make an offer. Talk with them, talk with anyone else offering, mull it over, sleep on it, make sure that when you say “yes” it’s to a person you’re 1000% confident in.

Your agent doesn’t just sell stuff for you. They advise you on your next book, on the path of your career, they talk you down when you’re convinced everything sucks, they read your manuscripts over and over, and advocate for you on a daily basis.

It's a big job, and it's not something you want to put into the hands of someone who will make the publication process harder. Going from an unknown author, to an agented author, to a published author is a LONG process and it’s stressful enough without feeling like you haven’t got a single person in your corner. Your agent should always be that person.

It’s been said a million times, and it’ll continue to be said because it’s the truest of truths:

NOT HAVING AN AGENT IS BETTER THAN HAVING A BAD ONE.

Write that on a post-it and stick it to your computer. Paint it on the wall. Skywrite it. Dream about it. Whatever it takes for you to keep that at the front of your mind while querying.

If you have even the slightest feeling the agent interested in your manuscript isn't right for you, walk away. Trust me, you’ll regret it if you don't.

Do your research, take your time, and make informed decisions. There are people out there who WILL try to take advantage of the insecurities felt by undiscovered writers. Don't let them. Push back, and take control because there are so many genuine, absolutely WONDERFUL agents who are always eager to advocate for talented writers.

Good luck!

Megan. 

A Matter Of Opinion

*DISCLAIMER: I'm about to rant.*

I have a huge issue with judgmental writers. Thankfully, I haven't come across too many since I made my way into the writing community, but they're out there, and they irritate the hell out of me.

The people who tell you you're a terrible writer, doomed to fail, because you had a couple "telly words" in your third chapter.

Those who say there's only one right way to describe an emotion/character/setting.

The ones who read through your chapter and return it completely rewritten "how they would have done it."

The champions of the pat-yourself-on-the-back club.

The few I've met happened to wander into my life at very unfortunate times. Times when I might have already been worrying about my writing ability, or after a particularly tough rejection. I was looking for new eyes or another writing friend, and instead, I got judged and picked apart and left feeling every bit the terrible writer I feared I was.

(This last happened almost exactly a year ago, by the way.)

And thinking back on those emails and conversations makes me so mad I could spit. When did it become a thing to tear others to absolute shreds and call it critiquing? Does it really make some people feel that much better about themselves when they set themselves up to be the writer that's higher up on the totem pole by kicking everyone else down below them?

When I have to write something critical in my notes for someone, I stare at the screen thinking of ways I can give them advice on what I think should be changed while also making it damn clear that my opinion is not the only thing to be considered. I suggest they have other people read it and get a few opinions on the issue. I tell them not to change a freaking thing if it doesn't feel right to them. I give them examples of how to change things without just diving in and rewriting it all the "right way."

Because --and this is very important-- how I would do it, and what I think, doesn't mean a damn thing. It's not my book. My only job is to read it, and give out whatever advice comes to mind. That's it. It's not my job to try and convince someone that my way is best and they're doing it wrong. It's not my job to whine and moan when they don't take my suggestions. It's not my job to turn their book into anything other than what they want it to be.

The writing community is a very small place, and a lot of us are dealing with the same anxieties and insecurities. We should be helping, and supporting, not tearing people down. We're supposed to be creating things, not destroying confidence.

And this is not to say that being critical in a critique is a bad thing, because it's not. There's no point in reading for someone if you pass over any problems you see in favor of comments that say "This is all so great!" because then you're just doing the author a disservice. Point out the issues, but don't be mean about it. There are some hard and fast "rules" of writing that someone just starting out might need a better handle on, but when it comes to a person's voice or how they choose to tell a story, that's all up to them to sort out.

All I can do is hope that my notes help in some way, and support that person as much as possible. Being another set of eyes doesn't have to turn into some kind of competition, to decide who's got more natural talent, or a better voice, or the prettiest language and anyone who says it does is doing something wrong.

Support each other. Be nice, be helpful, and above all else, remember that they're YOUR opinions for a reason. They don't need to be carried by anyone else.

*END of rant.*
Megan.

Finding Your Writing Fingerprint

What do all your favorite authors have in common? What do they have that makes their books feel so special to you?

They have voices. I can pick up anything written by Cassandra Clare, or Nicholas Sparks and without looking at anything but the writing I can tell you who the author is.

When I think of each and every one of my favorite books I know they all have that in common. The way the author strings together their words, the way they describe their characters, how they approach action or romance, it's all unique to them and their own personal writing style.

I like to think of it as a writers fingerprint. When you first start writing, all you have is that lonely arch along the top of your finger. It's a start, but nothing to identify you by. Then a few months or a year later- maybe after you've got a terrible finished manuscript, and several dozen amazing reads under your belt making you feel completely unworthy- that lonely arch becomes a carefully curved pattern of arches slowly wrapping its way around in a distinctive pattern.

The longer you write, and the more books you read, the closer you are to finding what works for you as a writer. You get to see how you can attack revisions without pulling your hair out. You find a way to describe a person memorably, so you don't feel the need to repeat how they look in each chapter so your readers remember. You see a pattern of words you like to use, and comma placement, and whether you prefer the semi-colon or the dash. (I'm a dash sort of person myself- in case you haven't noticed.)

And before you know it you have your own writers fingerprint. Your words are woven together so uniquely that they're discernable from everyone else. As unique as that little pattern on the ends of your fingers.

So next time you're reading something that just makes you feel like you'll never get where they are, or someone small minded tells you that you have a better chance of getting struck by lightening than being published in this market, look at your fingers. At one point they weren't all that unique either. The longer you write, and the more effort you put into it the closer you are to finding that thing, whatever it is, that makes your stories fly off the page and grab someone around the heartstrings like a vice.

And remember, the chances of you being struck by lightening are never going to change, but the chances of you being published improve with every word you write.

Happy Wednesday!